I'm feeling ornery

I'm not sure what's got into my mood today, but I'm not feeling my typical sunny self. Instead of narrative, you get a list of things that bothers me today. Enjoy.

1. "How's married life?" Now, I don't mind when people who I know ask me this. That's a fair question. Typically, I answer in my characteristically sassy way, "Pretty much the same as living-in-sin life only with tax breaks!" But I don't like the assumptions that go along with being married, especially when those assumptions are made by people I don't really know. At the bank today, I deposited a check. To clarify who I was, my teller said, "You're joint on Jeffrey's account?" Well, no. Joint sort of implied that there is no status difference - it's our account. However, if you want to have specifics, it has been my account since I was sixteen. I'm the one with awesome credit, and the wonderful bank loyalty. He jumped on my account less than two years ago, but seeing as how he does have Mr. in front of his name, I can see how you would assume that he's the one who allows me to use his money. I didn't say that though. I said, "Okay. Yes, that's me." Then I had to go to the gynecologist for a checkup. I've never had a problem with anyone at this office or anything, but today, the lady said to me, shocked, "You've never had ANY pregnancies?" I looked at her a bit funny and told her no. I figured I might have accidentally worn my "Hello, my name is Promiscuous Patty" name tag, but then she followed up with, "I mean... you ARE married, aren't you?" Well, by God. No one told me that I had to get knocked up within three months of my wedding. And how dare I wear a wedding band without ever having had a baby. I was a good girl, though, and just said, "Yes. I am married. No pregnancies." They should give you a pamphlet when you get married so that you can know these things.
2. The freaks at the library. This summer, I have been on a reading frenzy. Picture a starved person at Thanksgiving dinner. I haven't had a chance to read and I go to the library to get stacks of books. I'm there a lot. There are some people that stand in front of the library asking for signatures for some petition. It could be a very nice petition - perhaps even on an issue that I care about. However, they are worse than anything I have ever seen. There is no sign, no packet of information, no explanation of who they are. Instead, they yell at everyone walking in and out of the library, "Are you a registered voter in Pima County?" I mean it; they yell this at every person, even if they are already talking to someone else about their petition. I am against this whole tactic, but more so, I am upset that it is still going on. I politely lie to them, and say, "No sorry!" every time. I am just a nice person going to the library to get some books. Why must I be harassed every time? I am very, very close to explaining in excruciating detail to these people what is wrong with their tactics and their methodology, but I keep biting my tongue. Today, when I politely lied, the guy said, "Really? Or do just not want to be bothered?!" I was stunned. Now I have to validate myself? I gave him the teacher stink eye, shook my head, and kept walking, but I think I only encouraged him.

Okay, I guess it's just those two things, but I feel like they're big. I will now watch reruns of Gilmore Girls and eat Cherry Garcia ice cream to soothe my wounded pride.