You know, you know

I just wanted to update the blog world of my life because you must be depressed without more info on my life. I mean, honestly. I'm pretty cool.

I dislike Whole Foods. I dislike them like I dislike Bookman's. It's all a lie. Used bookstores are my haven. I love used bookstores. It's where book lovers go to trade books. It smells like book must (musk?) and there are gems and it's cheaper. Bookman's is a bookstore that pretends to be a used bookstore and charges you way more for goods that no one wants. I get that you have 75 copies of The Bell Jar. I'm sure the university makes kids buy it and they all sell it to Bookman's. But that's not the point, is it? I could buy classics from amazon.com. I go to a used bookstore to be enlightened. Don't try to fool me with your anti-censorship posters, your emo kids, and crappy posters I can buy for a quarter. Why don't you have books and why is your store a suck-hole of love?

Whole Foods is the same. I shop at Trader Joe's. They have cheap organic food with few to no preservatives. I can pronouce every ingredient on most packages. I can drink their $5 bottle of wine and not want to burn off my own tongue. In fact, I will seek out that bottle of wine because it's my favorite. And I've had $50 bottles of New Zealand Pinot Noir. Ask my dad. That was good wine.

Whole Foods pretends to be that store of organic love. But they also sell lies. They have some oil that I'm supposed to put in my tea that will make me feel less guilty about my life. No, seriously. That was on the bottle. If that's on your bottle and you charge me ten bucks for it, I no longer believe your store motto. You probably sell hippie crap that is not organic, not made in America, and is twice as expensive as stuff that is. I felt dirty for even going to Whole Foods and immediately drove to Trader Joe's to reverse my bad karma.

Some good news however: Kids still watch The Simpsons. I know! I was surprised too. I showed part of the episode where they parody Lord of the Flies to my sophomores today. I asked who watched The Simpsons and it still holds a sacred spot in their hearts. This is especially impressive because I would have assumed that nothing was sacred to teenagers. It's a smart show that makes some smart jokes; (wait for it...) and my kids understood them! It warmed my cold, frigid heart in a way that children haven't for quite some time.

Lastly, IKEA is still awesome. Bought a new bed and some nightstands and my life looks like an adult might lead it. Amazing the different a few hundred bucks can make. I've moved out of the ghetto and now the inside of my apartment looks non-ghetto as well.

I am still addicted to string cheese. It's kind of a problem.

That's all for now.