Bad Kitty

Don't let this picture fool you, my friends. Cats and ducks? Not friends. Let me tell you how I came to this horrible realization.

For you loyal blog fans, you may remember my acquaintanceship with some ducks. There were three of them and they would come to my window for food. I would open the window and give them bits of pita, tortilla or bread based on its availability in my kitchen. Then one day, one of them tried to fly in my window, scaring me. Then, there were only two ducks. I was certain my bread had choked and killed the third. It's hard to rip up it small and quick when you are trying to avoid having them jump in your window impatiently.

Well, for a long time, the ducks avoided me. For good reason. I hadn't seen them in ages, until today. I was sitting at my computer, mourning the fact that I had no bread to offer these cuties. They were quacking and I was quacking (c'mon you know you do it) and everything was fine. Then. Remember the cat that likes to entertain me by ripping apart mice in front of my window? Well, she flies out of nowhere and pounces on the ducks. The ducks agitatedly fly off, and I swear they were cursing me as they went.

I would also like to note that these were not small ducklings. I am pretty sure they were each the size of the cat. What kind of bold kitty does such a thing? New Zealand cats, that's who. She smiled up at me when they had flown off, proud of the fact that I was not paying them any attention anymore. Freakin' cat.

Depressing Books

Some people might say that I have a tendency to enjoy books that have a tinge of "darkness" to them. Yeah, okay, typically I like depressing books. Not tearjerkers, exactly. More of the I-wanna-pull-the-covers-over-my-head-forever genre of sad. I like them because they provide a (at least to me) more realistic view of the world and it's intriguing to discuss the matters of fiction within that realm. But I have started to read The Memory of Running. Amazon.com told me I would like it. Thankfully, I didn't buy it, just borrowed it. I am only about a hundred pages in, so I won't judge it just yet, but good Lord. It's been making me sad just reading it.

Is it the end of an era? Am I done being content with the artistic beauty that is the depressing side of life? I mean, I am torn here. On the one hand, I'd like to enjoy some new perspectives into life, but on the other... I mean, there's something beautiful about being able to describe the ugly so well.

Sigh. Maybe I should just give it a chance. Maybe this book will end well and take me over to the positive side of literature. Shudder.

SIDENOTE: Okay, as I was linking the title to the review of the book, I realized they are commending this author on his impeccable sense of humor. I might just not get it. Shoot. See previous entry about patterns.

PS: It's Kimmie's birthday (again, the date up there will lie because it's the day after here)! I don't think Kimmie reads this, but I will not deny her the shout out! Happy Birthday!

Patterns

Actual conversation between me and my boss (to the best of my memory):

Me: So do we get paid today?
Jo: (Sigh.) No, it's Tuesday. We get paid tomorrow.
Me: Do we always get paid on Wednesdays?
Jo: Um, yes.
Me: Since when?
Jo: Since always. You never noticed that you always get paid on a Wednesday?
Me: Hmmm.

I am not good at picking up patterns. In all fairness, I once asked when we got paid, and I was told it wouldn't fall neatly on the same day. Clearly, I was lied to, but I mean, I should have picked that out. But it reminds me that I never was good at picking up patterns. I am horrible at video games for much the same reason. The only game I've ever been good at is Mario Bros. and that's because I used to watch my brother and his friends play for hours on end. Then, wouldn't you know? I knew where the secret blocks were and how to beat that one level... all just coincidentally.

And remember all those rainy day games, like "Why do I like grass but not lawns? Why do I like balloons but not helium?" Or the games where you have to do some optical illusion with your hands and fast talking? Yeah, I suck at those too. I am just not aware enough or something. I always miss the forest for the trees, or just think that the trees are all just a distracting trick!

This is yet another example of why I ask a lot of questions. Chances are, I didn't get the obvious.

To Sleep Perchance to Dream

I am not particularly good at sleep. I either sleep too much or sleep not enough. I don't sleep all the way through the night, and never have. When I first got to New Zealand, I was finally sleeping well, but lately, my sleeping has been acting up again. Last night, however, I even surprised myself.

Besides having some creepy dreams (and I mean creepier than normal), I woke up with my knee hurting. No bother, I frequently wake up with latent stiffness or bruising from soccer. I sat down at my computer to chat with a friend and when I got up to go work out, I almost fell over. Hm. This was not normal. While trying to put on shorts to work out in, my knee was really burning. I had twisted my knee in my sleep!

After my shower, the bruise started to show up on the outside of my knee. I am dumbfounded. I mean, don't get me wrong; I'll be back to working out tomorrow. I am not limping or anything, but it sure does sting when I walk. Who does that? How can I respond, "Um... I was asleep" when people ask how I hurt myself? I best be careful with my sleeping tendencies; next, I'll wake up with a broken arm or something.

I'm a Genius!

I am incredibly proud of my new invention! I love Starbucks. Filthy habit, I know, but I like it. It's kind of a long walk from home and work is about a block away. No Starbucks for me. Plus, I'm pretty broke at the moment saving up for Fiji, so it's just as well. But I still crave. At work, we have free coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. I know I am not the first to think of it or try it, but I decided to make my own Starbucks style coffee.

I took some instant coffee (which realistically is only good on one specific occasion - deer hunting. It is crap coffee that you would give your right arm for when you wake up at 4 am to go plod out in the snow and sit for several hours. Blissful. But then, and only then.) and combined it with hot chocolate mix. Now, my first cup (made yesterday) was far too coffee-strong. I was shaking with caffeine within minutes. Too much coffee. Second cup was too hot chocolate-strong. Today was just right. It doesn't taste like Starbucks, mostly because there is no caramel swirl or copious amounts of flavor shots. But, it is fantastic.

I am so unbelievably proud of myself which again reminds me how lucky I am to be appeased by small pleasures. Throw some instant coffee and hot chocolate into a cup, add hot water and I'm on cloud nine. Also, as a slight sidenote, I realised my friend Kristin was right when she told me I drink my coffee too fast. "How did you not burn yourself?!" Today, when I set my cup down, it was steaming like crazy... but it was already empty. :) I like coffee.

To Hate or Not to Hate

There has been quite the shopping drama happening across the world if you didn't know about it. Oh yes, it affects the States and even New Zealand. Okay, well it actually only directly affects one person in the States and one person in New Zealand, those being my brother and me. But you know you're dying to know now! :)

Simply put, my brother and I share a gap.com account so I can help him shop from afar. He recently moved. Here is the dilemma: 1) he ordered pants but they got shipped to his old address in spite of his diligence to change the shipping address. 2) they would not be forwarded because the package would have my name instead of his. 3) gap.com and UPS are in a wicked plot to keep the coolest pants ever from my brother. Both he and I have called both companies involved and it occurred to me that being on hold for a company is like Chinese water torture. It slowly drives you insane. I was honestly and literally tempted to bash the phone into my head to stop the repeating "would you like to get free shipping?" and the "fastest shipping anywhere in the continental United States!!" slogans. Why do you have a twenty second long repeating message when the average wait time is over ten minutes?

After many more futile and disturbing attempts to track down the pants (which will someday be funny, but not now... it's still too soon), we have found that a mysterious "Steve" has signed for the pants. While my brother has to hire a private eye to locate said Steve (I kid, I kid), I decided I hated gap.com, UPS and shopping online. A drastic switch for me. However, gap.com (who were very helpful and apologetic on the phone and all, but after that wait time...) emailed me after I politely complained about the situation. They told me that they would entirely refund the purchase! How nice is that? If they would have had the pants still in stock, they would have sent a replacement pair. Now, my moral brother will not accept the refunded money until he knows the pants are long gone (seriously, how are we related?!), but it has restored my faith in gap.com.

Moral of the story? Huzzah, gap.com, huzzah. Boo, UPS, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.