I'm feeling ornery

I'm not sure what's got into my mood today, but I'm not feeling my typical sunny self. Instead of narrative, you get a list of things that bothers me today. Enjoy.

1. "How's married life?" Now, I don't mind when people who I know ask me this. That's a fair question. Typically, I answer in my characteristically sassy way, "Pretty much the same as living-in-sin life only with tax breaks!" But I don't like the assumptions that go along with being married, especially when those assumptions are made by people I don't really know. At the bank today, I deposited a check. To clarify who I was, my teller said, "You're joint on Jeffrey's account?" Well, no. Joint sort of implied that there is no status difference - it's our account. However, if you want to have specifics, it has been my account since I was sixteen. I'm the one with awesome credit, and the wonderful bank loyalty. He jumped on my account less than two years ago, but seeing as how he does have Mr. in front of his name, I can see how you would assume that he's the one who allows me to use his money. I didn't say that though. I said, "Okay. Yes, that's me." Then I had to go to the gynecologist for a checkup. I've never had a problem with anyone at this office or anything, but today, the lady said to me, shocked, "You've never had ANY pregnancies?" I looked at her a bit funny and told her no. I figured I might have accidentally worn my "Hello, my name is Promiscuous Patty" name tag, but then she followed up with, "I mean... you ARE married, aren't you?" Well, by God. No one told me that I had to get knocked up within three months of my wedding. And how dare I wear a wedding band without ever having had a baby. I was a good girl, though, and just said, "Yes. I am married. No pregnancies." They should give you a pamphlet when you get married so that you can know these things.
2. The freaks at the library. This summer, I have been on a reading frenzy. Picture a starved person at Thanksgiving dinner. I haven't had a chance to read and I go to the library to get stacks of books. I'm there a lot. There are some people that stand in front of the library asking for signatures for some petition. It could be a very nice petition - perhaps even on an issue that I care about. However, they are worse than anything I have ever seen. There is no sign, no packet of information, no explanation of who they are. Instead, they yell at everyone walking in and out of the library, "Are you a registered voter in Pima County?" I mean it; they yell this at every person, even if they are already talking to someone else about their petition. I am against this whole tactic, but more so, I am upset that it is still going on. I politely lie to them, and say, "No sorry!" every time. I am just a nice person going to the library to get some books. Why must I be harassed every time? I am very, very close to explaining in excruciating detail to these people what is wrong with their tactics and their methodology, but I keep biting my tongue. Today, when I politely lied, the guy said, "Really? Or do just not want to be bothered?!" I was stunned. Now I have to validate myself? I gave him the teacher stink eye, shook my head, and kept walking, but I think I only encouraged him.

Okay, I guess it's just those two things, but I feel like they're big. I will now watch reruns of Gilmore Girls and eat Cherry Garcia ice cream to soothe my wounded pride.

The end of this apartment

Move out day is finally approaching. Though it'd be nice if it weren't in the worst heat in the year, it'd be better, but I am just happy to be getting out.

Yesterday, we were scheduled to have our annual apartment inspection. They came an hour late (not even an hour late for my scheduled time - it was an hour after inspection hours were over for the whole building) and almost caught me in the shower. I started the list of things wrong with my apartment: rotting insides of the dishwasher, running toilet, air filters that hadn't been cleaned since we moved in a year and a half ago, weekly clogging of the drain in the shower, broken towel rack in the bathroom, etc. The lady looks at me and says, "Is your shower leaking?" I said, "Um, no. I waited until the cut off time to take my shower. So I just took my shower." Awkwardly long pause. "So... um, that's why it's wet?"

She assured me that they would put a work order in for this leaky shower business right away. I sighed, thanked them, and let them out of the apartment. I am so excited to move out. I am also excited to buy more furniture from IKEA. Such bliss.

In an oddly connected way, I now need a new wardrobe. As I have been slowly chipping myself away for 6 months here, nothing fits me well anymore. Since we're moving, I just got rid of everything that didn't have a future. That leaves me with one pair of capris and some tshirts (unless I'm wearing dresses or dressing up every day - by the way, it's triple digits every day now). I decided to own this aspect of myself and roll with the white trash. I bought a 6 pack of v-neck white tshirts, old man style. Now I wear one of these with the capris everyday.

(Part of this is exaggerated. I don't wear the same thing every day. I switch it up and I will wear a skirt and heels just for a change of pace. Also, I don't do anything in the summer. I go to the gym and the library. If I go out to eat or something, then I dress up, but why bother otherwise? It just occurred to me that the boy must love me in summer.)

Now that we're moving to a place that I don't fear or loathe the neighbors, it's probably not best to look like I'm wearing the same clothes everyday. School is coming up soon though, and I do so love back-to-school clothes shopping!

The boy's birthday

Well, it was the boy's birthday... a while ago. I am bad with staying up to date, apparently. Regardless, he is now 26. That means that I will be 26 in a couple weeks here. When did that happen?!

Just to keep you informed on my life lately: read, gym, nap, play Sims, sleep, start over. Seriously, kiddos, it's feast or famine over here. Either I am working way too hard or mind-numbingly bored. What can you do?

The only upcoming event is that we will be moving to a better apartment at the end of the month. We will have more than one bedroom! We will have a kitchen and a dining nook! We have arrived.

Maybe. :)

Holy crap!

Through the beauty of things like facebook and myspace, I get to freely spy on people I used to know pretty well. There are people in life that you went to the same parties as or were peripheral in their circle of friends or vice versa. I always wonder what happened to these people. Some of this could be the cabin fever of summer vacay. Whatever.

I am shocked that we are the people with jobs and children and spouses. In my spying of the last few minutes, I had to drop my jaw and say, "Holy mother of God, he's got a wife now?" or "I'm sorry; she has what job?!" When did the guy who routinely puked on the back porch get a job in politics? When did the girl who I would have sworn had several STDs get a normal looking husband, job, house, and matching babies?

How did we all make it? I mean, I had my wild side back in the day too. I have since mellowed and am now entrusted to mold young lives. Maybe these kids all just had a similar wild streak. I assume that no one is now saying, "What do you mean I'm wrong? I challenge you to a game of flippy cup!" or "Well, let's see how you play beruit with my house rules!" These people have probably all grown up too. But when did that happen?

I have to connect this to my job of working with children. I hope that they all grow up before they have responsibilities, but there are no such guarantees. Maybe we all just do this? Maybe we all grow out of it? Who's to say that these people don't just put normal pictures up on myspace and they choose not to advertise doing kegstands with baby.

I'm just saying it makes me re-evaluate my views of important people. I bet they had their hair held back a good many times too.

I'm a feminist now.

The process is basically over and just starting all at the same time. My name is officially changed. I sat for over an hour in the social security office, during office hours naturally, and sat through well over another hour in the DMV. While these things are always a joy, it definitely got my anti-men hackles raised.

Don't get me wrong. I dig men. I dig my man in particular. I never even had an experimental girl phase in college though I was in a sorority. (More male stereotypes...) Normally, I just figure that I personally don't have it that bad and that most women I know don't have it that bad. There are bigger political fish to fry.

But...

Why did I have to sit in the freakin' DMV and social security office while the hubster did nothing? Again, this isn't against him. It's not his fault, and in his defense, he was working hard at work. ... You know, like I'd be doing if I had any job but teaching. Where is a woman supposed to get this time off? I would have needed to do the social security office thing first anyway because they need to do security clearance that takes several days before you can change your license. So are they just assuming that I can take two days off of work to do this or are they just assuming that I don't have a job?

To be fair, no one forced me to change my name. To be more fair, you can mail this stuff in and it will take several more weeks than I ended up taking. But when you've got hours to wait in line to change your name, a girl's got some time to think.

I've only had a couple "real" instances of gender discrimination. Most of those were when I worked at Fleet Farm in the automotive department and I handled those fine because in the end, I know that I am knowledgeable, smart, and good at most jobs I've had (including that one!). I had no insecurities. Maybe this one bothers me because I didn't have to do it. I was the one following an old, old tradition. Who can I really be mad at?

The moral of the story is that I'm not sure who I'm mad at, but I didn't like waiting in those lines. And I'm pretty sure I was there because I have a vagina. That's the same as feminism, right?

Insomnia rears its ugly head again

Insomnia has always plagued my life. It's been really bad the past few days/nights. I am adhering to the philosophy that when I'm tired, I'll sleep. Of course, I've been tired for days...

Anyway, I am going to update on what I've been seeing and reading. I finally have the chance to catch up a little on things, and I wanted to do reviews. Because everyone cares what I think.

Okay, this movie was awesome. I love Tiny Fey and anything she does. I thought Mean Girls was a new kind of movie and I dig it. This one is fun and intelligent too. But Amy Poehler is surprising me. I don't know if I just didn't notice her before, but she's super funny! And pretty in this photoshopped picture, too. Seriously, she has a banging body, but I never noticed before.

Regardless, this movie has allowed me some new favorite one liners and had me actually laughing uncontrollably in a movie theater which hasn't happened in a while. It's not "good" the whole way through, but it's a good comedy and those are pretty rare these days.



Naturally and of course, I saw the SatC movie. I loved it. Again, I don't know that it was "good" in a quality sense, but I think it captured perfectly what the audience wanted. Also, I was hysterically and uncontrollably crying in a theater which hasn't happened for a while either. My stifled hysterics reminded me of my seeing Titanic when I was young and impressionable. Now, that's some crying, my friend.

On a side note though, I wanted to see if Greg Behrendt (sp?) was a writer on the movie too. He's the guy who wrote the line, "He's just not that into you" which has become a national phenomenon as far as lines from shows go. They don't show writers on the end credits. Is that a crime? I mean, this movie that was the epitome and the end of SatC wrenched a few souls out there, not just mine. And I don't get to know who wrote it? It's sacrilege.

Regardless, I was more than pleased. I mean, this is like when the make comic book movies and all the nerds freak out. I was the queen of the analogous nerds and I didn't hate it at all.

Also, I'll say this: I don't frequently feel connected to the universe or to people around me. Things like graduations and other similar ceremonies make me notice the pomp and circumstance (pun sort of intended) of such situations. Who cares? Why are we all here walking in a line across a stage? But I had a feeling of connectedness as I waited to see this movie and as I sat there with a bunch of people spellbound during the movie. There were girls dressed to the nines, excited to have an occasion to wear those freakin' Gladiator heels that are so in. There were gay guys loudly ranting about their Cosmos they had before the movie. But there were also tattooed biker chicks and seemingly heterosexual males that weren't dragged there (like my hubs - who will admit to liking the show anyway). There were kids, there were grandmas and grandpas. People of all kinds felt this show and these characters like I did. It was like being in line for the last Harry Potter book -- you just feel connected to an idea and a communicated truth and it was super. Warm and fuzzy and all that. :)




Now, to switch modes entirely, the hubs is making me watch Oz from beginning to end. I kid you not, this show haunts my dreams. We just finished the first season and it's the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Seeing people pushed to extremes is sad and harsh. I don't even know what to say about it because I feel like I don't want to give away plot, but realize I am apparently the only person in America to have never seen this show and it's like ten years old.

The characters are well portrayed; some of the people I know now from other things but I can't like them anymore. The dad from Juno? He's a meanie rapist.

I mean, this is where I am: can you imagine being someone's butt rape slave? Because I can't. I waited an entire season to see this guy lash out and react, to stick up for himself, to do something, anything to stop what was happening to him. And when he did? Seriously, I had nightmares. It wasn't good to see him go crazy. He's just a crazy, broken man. Seeing people broken and battered and left alone is sad.

It also reminds me of high school. Not so much the butt rape part, as the forced roles that affect the rest of your life and weird arbitrary rules that are clearly meant to break your spirit, but isn't that the same thing?

Regardless, I have to keep watching because the hubs loves it and I made him watch the whole series of Sex and the City and frequently make him watch feminine crap, but man-oh-man. It's rough and reminds me of what HBO used to be.




I finally finished reading this monster of a book at about 4 today. You know how there are books where you almost slow down reading at the end because you want the book to keep going? This is not one of those books. It's good, don't get me wrong. There's some great imagery and a poetic sense of wrapping histories together to create the one relevant one. But... I mean, there's only one relevant story, right? I just feel like I didn't need the 250+ preceding years of history of this one character's family and multiple national sociopolitical histories to get the story.

Again, it's beautiful. It ends well which is critical for me. I recommend it, but I couldn't read it during the school year because I had a job and reading this thing was like a second job. Most people already have a job, so this book wouldn't be ideal. :) It does make me want to read Virgin Suicides (same author) because I do like his writing style and I hear that one isn't 700 pages (a slight exaggeration... slight).

One phrase: the emperor has no clothes. This was the worst movie ever. This could be because I just didn't get it. I had that moment. I knew it won awards and was "awesome" and kids and adults liked it. I was watching and thought, "Man, what is the point of all this?" I quickly hushed myself because many, many people thought it was important and vital and moving. Then I realized it was totally an emperor has no clothes situation. I kept waiting. Was there a moral? Am I supposed to like any of the characters? Am I supposed to hate them? But I just never got there. I ended up waiting for the (in)famous "I drink your milkshake" line and even then, I had built it up too much.

In the end, I wish I hadn't bothered. I can summarize the movie for you. Daniel Day Lewis basically is mean and says "I'm an oil man" a lot and then figuratively (apparently) drinks another man's milkshake. The end.

I guess I've seen other things and read a bunch of books recently. But I realize these reviews aren't good, and are more insomniac rants about things I've seen. That's no good. :) I'm going to go to bed and wait for sleep to come. It is 5am after all and I successfully wasted an hour in rambling at you.