Flight of the Bumble Fly

The weather in Dunedin is finally nice. That means open windows and that means more killer flies. Well, honestly, they aren't killer flies. They are just massive, which only increases their ability to annoy with their equally massive buzzing. New Zealand doesn't believe in screens on their windows, and I have to say, I am starting to agree with them, except for these huge flies.

This morning, I opened my kitchen windows to let in some fresh air. As I was sitting at my desk, I heard that stupid buzzing. Sure enough, some huge, dimwitted fly had wandered in through the kitchen window, but liked to slam its head against the (closed) windows over my desk in mad attempts to get out. Sigh. Well, I tried to help it out by opening the windows above my desk, but the fly still slammed into the closed portions of glass. I tried to help shoo it with a piece of paper, but it just thought I was trying to kill it. It scrambled into a spider's web (so that's what happened to Snerdly) which was just comical because the fly was at least three times larger than the spider. Then, I kept yelling, "Up! Go up! UP!!" As if the fly could understand me. Now it just saw a human screaming and coming at it with a piece of paper. It fled from me back into the kitchen. Since my kitchen is tiny and me-free, I closed the door and hoped it would just figure its way out. I sat at my desk and saw it stumble out into the free fresh air again and I cheered it on, "Good fly, good boy!"

Can you tell what happened next? You know you can. You can almost feel it.

As if now my voice were comforting to the fly, it wafted back in through the windows I had opened above my desk. Such profanity was let loose on this poor fly. They'd be quite easy to kill, but I figured it wasn't his fault that he was big and dumb and annoying. So I shooed him again into the kitchen, closed the desk windows and prayed he'd go away. It's gonna be a long summer.