Attack of the Killer Fish!

If you think this looks like an innocent fish... well, you may be right. To be completely honest I've had a heck of a time finding a photograph of the culprit fish and may even be perpetuating racial fish profiling. But this looks like the fish that tried to attack me; it looks more like it than any other picture I can find. Who would have thought google would flounder at the phrase "mean fish who tried to attack me when I was in Fiji"?

Snorkeling seems like it would be right up my alley. I love to explore things and I like the ocean. Logic would follow that I would enjoy exploring said ocean. Not so. It's scary down there - it's like the opposite of claustrophobia because the enormity of the space and the unknown is utterly daunting. But I can handle a wee bit of snorkeling before I freak out. My first venture out was in a horrid spot, with shallow water and high coral. While thinking, "Suck in that tummy!" I courageously wandered out to the drop off. As I was going, I put my hand on the ocean floor to see how much room I had - I looked down at my hand and saw that my hand was touching a giant fuzzy clam thing! I freaked out, tried to leap into a fetal position and scratched my foot on some coral. Whoops. Bad idea. I swam quickly away before the clam could open up and snatch away my hand.

The drop off is simply cool. There's no if, ands, or buts about it. There are all kinds of fish I have never seen, big massive sea plants that are bigger than me, and colours you don't see in everyday life. But all this kinda scared me; I was anxious, but not terrified. I like to know what's going on around me and seeing a plant that is larger than me makes me steer clear. Then, the fish swim all around you. I comforted myself with repeating, "They don't want to touch you any more than you want to touch them!" This, however, is horrifically untrue.

That cute bugger you see above swam past me, stopped dead in its tracks, looked me in the eye and dive bombed my face. I kid you not. So I tried to shoo it away with my hands. Turns out, this motion, in water, only attracts said fish. At this point, I naturally screamed (without getting a drop of water in my mouth!) which did frighten away said fish. "Aha!" I thought, "Vibration is my oceanic friend!" So I started to swim back to shore through the only non-coral infested pathway and who did I find? Said fish and his buddies, back for revenge. They were ahead of me on the path and I had to follow them. So I did so, and whenever the fish would turn maliciously around, I would growl loud enough to keep them away.

However, one snuck up beside me (blast the lack of peripheral vision in a face mask) and tried to attack. Again jumping and growling simultaneously (I was clearly getting better at this game), I cut my leg on some coral. The fish had won this round, but I would come out on top.

Dum, dum, dum.... To be continued??