Buried in Paperwork

There are a number of false perceptions about Kiwis. One of them is that they are the nicest people in all the world. Not so... they are just as nice as Midwestern folk. Some are nice, some are not. Another falsehood is that they don't do needless paperwork. Lies. All lies.

They used to not be engulfed in the paper wars. But, alas, many are following in the accountability age where we need four signatures from you, your dog and your favourite auntie to guarantee that you are, in fact, you. I am in the hurried process of trying to renew my visa and permit which enable me (respectively) to abide in New Zealand and to travel freely between New Zealand and other countries with my passport. I am frantic in order to prepare myself for an excursion to the UK in just over two weeks. Yes, I am insane.

But, I was guaranteed that I would have no problems finishing up my renewal process because "we're not like you bloody Americans and your paperwork". Well, that's true. You're not. I had to sic my financial advisor and my international advisor on Immigration and both of them (as calmly as possible) protested, "If it's good enough for Washington DC, why isn't it good enough for you?!" In addition, I have seen more name grubbing than ever before. "Well, sir, do you know who I am? I happen to be Ms. So-and-so. That's right, Ms. So-and-so. (Pause.) I see; I'm so glad that makes things easier for my client." Client??

Luckily, as soon as I recognised the vile cogs of the bureaucratic machine lurching into motion, I found myself calling in favours from the right people and jumping through the correct hoops -- now there's the advantage of my American education. My visa and permit should be cleared by the week's end. Thank you very much, painless non-bureaucratic paperwork process of the morally superior New Zealand. ;) How much we could learn from you.